Drink deep of my sorrow as I entertain you with tales of Japanese Animated debauchery.


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Sunday, August 22, 2010

Ping-Pong Club: "Protruding Pecker Serve", need I say more?

Adolescence is a delicate time for developing teens. So much fear about the future and so many new and interesting changes are happening in your life that it's almost overwhelming.

And then a drunk teacher puts on a strip show and shoves a carrot in your ass.

Such is the case with my #8 favorite anime, Ping Pong Club!






(opening for Ping Pong Club)

Those of you still reading after that opening, thanks for staying.

Ping Pong Club deals with puberty at its most horrifying level. A group of boys that comprise the Ping Pong Club fight in their daily struggle to fit in, survive and to be immensely huge perverts.


(Yes, it's subtitled. Don't have a lot of the dub examples online, but here's the first episode anyway. I'm sorry!)

Normally, I won't run the list of characters, but this is an unusual exception as knowing your characters helps map your understanding of the chaos.

The primary star of the series is a boy named Maeno, the most hated creature in Inachu Junior High. Hated for his many crimes against all humanity: stealing, fondling, harassing, annoying all pale to the evils he perpetrates whilst cross-dressing, finding new excuses to whip his penis out in public, jinxing his friends from ever finding love, streaking through classes for no reason, manipulating classmates to make him their king and for the Ping Pong Club his presence is an ominous one that only remains necessary because he fulfills their requirement to have 6 players.

Izawa is a boxing freak who keeps having moments where he drifts out of reality and into Boxer Joe moments, he is Maeno's #1 supporter and partner in crime. His ridiculously pointy hairdo and spastic attention span make him ALMOST as useless to the team as Maeno, but they still count on him in comparison. Izawa goes through a series of personal changes and even takes on a disciple in a cute, curvy girl that poorly conceals her crush on him and to earn his respect she participates in much of their idiocy.

Tanaka is a perverted force of nature that practically embodies all perversion in Japan, naturally he frequently assists Maeno for the chance at a quick feel, grope or peek at a girl's cash and prizes. He is the other half of the doubles portion of their team alongside Tanabe.

Tanabe is the only innocent in the bunch. He's the tall, hirsute fellow with the outie belly button. He's the butt of many jokes and ribbings because he's half-American, has lethal body odor that the Club uses for their wicked ends and is intensely sensitive to criticism. He considers Tanaka his best friend, which puts him in many awkward situations defending him and being betrayed frequently by Tanaka.

Kinoshita is the vice-captain of the team whose skill is only match by his looks and brash arrogance that accompany them. He's the most popular boy in school, which helps keep the club popular enough for people to take notice of their actions, but not so much to help them attract new members or stay atop their rival schools. It should be noted that he is SO pretty that in a whimsical attempt at experimentation, the guys put him in full drag and create a force of hotness so enticing to them that they cannot help, but molest him.

Takeda is the captain of the team, his insecure voice (and apparently gifted loins) keep the team's attention, but not their cooperation. As the only one thinking of the team he's often flustered that no one else takes the team seriously. To his chagrin, his primary distraction comes later when his childhood sweetie becomes the team's manager and makes a habit of flirting with him and fighting with him so much that he becomes too distracted to practice or command the team properly. He's a nice guy, but his shamefully closeted lust coupled with his many insecurities make him a difficult guy to deal with.


(A dubbed clip from the episode introducing Kyoko, Takeda's childhood sweetheart. Note Maeno and Izawa playing Lupin & Fujiko? Yeah, that happens more often than anyone wants. Ever.)

Ping Pong Club will make you perform several facepalms and even MORE gasps with both hands over your mouth. It's vile, juvenile, perverted and insultingly stupid. The bad news is that it captures the thought processes of guys in general fairly well, especially super horny junior high kids like these bastards the most perverse aspect of it is the warm and fuzzy glaze that it coats each of their actions in as the dopey actions of the youth. That and they normally pay for their crimes in an especially violent fashion.


(Terrible video quality, but this Zoot Suit Riot AMV sums up the kind of wacky shit you'll see.)

I would absolutely LOVE to watch American censors pore over Ping Pong Club in an attempt to air it here. They would make faces that would entertain you for years to come because things like defecation, sex, nudity, drug use, cursing, etc. would keep them from even entertaining the idea as a joke.

Multiple stories carry throughout the show with the general theme being that the boys need to cheat, wheedle and fight for their right to ping pong because their skill isn't enough to carry them. If it's not other teachers trying to steal their club room, its faculty members forcing them into life or death camping scenarios, club trips going wrong, championships with sex licenses on the line or good deeds being brutally and thoroughly punished with interest.


(English dub, Maeno's insecurity explodes in front of Kyoko and he follows that by lashing out into his propeller song that no one can really explain and I can't imagine anyone wanting to.)

The dub is one of the best on the market, which is ironic being that it comes from the bowels of Central Park Media! This must have been a pain in the ass to adapt and I can't applaud their efforts enough. It's fun, it's great localization and it's funny as hell.


(Japanese subbed, one of my favorite episodes where Takeda is haunted by a ghost mistaking him for her lover and the boys go into the woods to try and find her in order to appease her.)

That said, much like Utena is an acquired taste this series is very much so if not MORE. When Maeno shoves the entire club's ping pong balls up his ass and then does what he refers to a "egg-laying sea turtle impression" in the middle of the club room, this scene alone caused several people to stop talking to me and even more decided to write off the show altogether. If toilet humor doesn't bother you and seeing constant stupidity and perversion galore sound like a fun ride, this is definitely one for you.

Finding it might be harder than expected though since CPM has gone under, but I urge you to try. My only REAL complaint about Ping Pong Club is the fact that it stops and leaves me wanting more. Well, not that I'm complaining per se, it's just that I personally want more. It's one of CPM's best products and it's a damn shame they didn't push it more before they BK'd.



(Second closing sequence for PPC, showcasing the loving and awkward teenage romance between Takeda and Kyoko.)

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