Evangelion: You are (NOT) paying enough for recycled crap!

So against my better judgment I splurged on Evangelion's recent movie thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_%28anime%29

I assumed that it would be rock solid AWESOME by trimming all the fat from the Eva TV series and movies and making a coherent story that flows more smoothly with no sacrifice to the definitive mecha-on-monster action.

I was wrong on both counts.

I've only had the one go through because I couldn't do another without falling asleep. To sum it up, it's all "new" animation as in they "re-shot" the original scenes from episodes that sum up the events up until the appearance of the fifth angel. Well, I think it was the fifth... It was that one that was like a floating crystal that shot lasers and Shinji had to snipe at it while Rei covered him with the super shield thing.

It's NOT a reboot, it's the same fucking thing all over again and runs in that same familiar, "I'm have a seizure" style and pacing that fans of the show will recognize from the numerous re-re-re-recaps the show is notorious for and begin cutting again upon watching.

Cutting themselves.

Cutting themselves out of angst and despair they hadn't endured for eons (IE: 12 years, basically). Spike Spencer (voice of dubbed Shinji) is a brave man. I could not (unless many a dollar were involved) come back to such a mewling, painful and pathetic role AGAIN after trying to outrun it for over a decade. Poor bastard. Since Funimation is at the helm they gathered some of the ADV Films voice actors including Misato and Shinji's original voices making for some decent consistency for fans of the dub.

But again, it's still the same old thing. It's the same scenes re-made with currently existing stuff with the EXACT same angles, dialogue, purpose for progression within the story, etc.

It's a Cliff Notes version of the first chunk of the Eva TV series with maybe five minutes MAX of new footage which does little, if anything, to sway the original audiences. I really wish I'd rented it first. It's the same old crap I burned myself out on by running an Evangelion marathon every week introducing to friends who needed something as pretentious as they were.

If there's a counterculture in anime, Eva is its messiah in the USA. Only those who "get it" can truly appreciate its magnificence and epic story, but that's not going to save the fact that since the first VHS release the series has been pretty well burned out of the once revolutionary enthusiasm. My own thirst for Eva stuff is running on fumes and having Gainax Re-do Eva just to slap us in the face with the same thing is rather disconcerting.