What moron buys this cra-Oh uh, yeah. Me.

Riff Trax. A product from a site known as http://www.rifftrax.com/, the site from whence the former crew from Mystery Science Theater 3000 have set up camp and developed a more insidious method of mocking things as you watch them. Only, their mirth-filled wrath is now directed at current films and things you may already own, the convenient part is that all you need to do is download their audio tracks and play them alongside the movie.

Example follows the cut...








I have to admit though, I started with Eragon and made adjustments every 20-30 seconds... for the entire movie. Could be me, could be the "trax," but hey whatever. It was still a thoroughly hilarious experience. Like I had trouble breathing and I almost threw up I was laughing so much. Truly a thing worth taking the time out of your movie to appreciate. After the horrifying amount of exposure I had to Twilight, this is the only way I could recommend watching it and its vile sequel child New Moon. I don't want to seem like a shill or something, but then again I just wasted space in the first post on here for a limited edition variety of Cap'n Crunch. So shut your freakin' word hole and read the words coming out of my hands.

EDIT: IT. WAS. ME. There's usually 2-3 choices of audio files to play determined by world location (PAL, NTSC, etc.) and I picked the wrong one. Since then I haven't had any trouble.

God, I'm so weird.

So, Rifftrax. It lacks puppets and that is NOT a point in its favor, but they have replaced the puppets with a bug-eyed mascot they call "Disembodio" or something that functions as a timer (so you can gauge how near/far you are from their comical banter in the film) and an additional member of the cast during the before and after points in the film.

As an on again, off again fan of MST3K I cannot recommend this more ecstatically without sounding like some kind of freak, which looking back on things I don't think I can really avoid. It's so so so so so funny, you need to browse their catalog and examine the previews of a few of the movies. They'll double the life of your library and then some.

In talk of recent events, I had a conflict of man versus machine when our ice maker decided to stop distributing the ice it made. It melted and formed a hilariously effective clog of frustratingly re-frozen ice making an effective barricade against my cold-seeking satisfaction. My struggle against this friend-turned-foe last for at least thirty of your minutes ending in a spectacular moment that ended in a loss for myself when I tugged at the ice-caddy until its "icy grip" gave way right into my face. A bloody nose and a huge loss of pride later, I managed to get the whole mess cleared up, but I still wear a wound from my encounter with the frozen devil.

I know you want to hear more detail on this, but the laws prevent me from going on any further. The laws of my fragile heart and the flimsy strings that keep it held above the spikey mess of knowledge that lies beneath it when the whole situation sinks in that I just got my ass kicked by a kitchen appliance.

Ah... too late.