Evangelion/Transformers/GI Joe: The tickle of madness

After a lengthy, crazy rant like the last one I feel it's only fair to throw ya'll a bone. Brace for laughter kiddos, your childhood innocence is on the chopping block!

LEVITY, I CHOOSE YOU!

A friend showed this to me awhile back and I'm still between tears and laughter. To clarify for the uninitiated: In the final, tense moments of Evangelion soldiers are sent in to seize the NERV base and use its contents (Angels, ADAM, Eva units, Alka-selzter) to kick-start Armageddon.

In this beautiful bastardization they send in GI Joe to kill off NERV and the Eva units are Optimus Prime (Unit 2) and Galvatron (Unit 1), with the evil "Eva Series" being represented by the entirety of the Decepticon forces.

The video uses footage from the Transformers movie, GI Joe Movie and Evangelion respectively. Well, and A LITTLE bit of footage from each series to pad out some of the scenes.

Enjoy.

Diary of a Cereal Killer

Gazing into bowl of pure crunchberries, I can't help but wonder if there's a point where someone woke up in the morning and decided that madness of this caliber was acceptable. To label it as being available for a "Limited time only!" makes it even more insane. What the hell?

"It'll never work! Who would want this crap?!" I protest to myself, in denial as I ignore the simple fact that I just tossed a box in my cart. After all, I was here to buy ingredients for dinner, not THIS crap. Oh. Wait. I just... damn.

Behold the madness of this day (technically, yesterday): Purchasing a used Dell, Setting up said Dell, going to Class, losing sleep repairing a laptop, Receiving my City Commander (Ultra Magnus armor) in the mail, etc.

Not quite that exciting for some, but anyway all of that is officially dwarfed by this awful bowl of colorful, corn-puff crap and it's pungent aroma of pure processed frosting. I convinced myself it was a treat for Candyce and yet, it's all I can do not to flip out as I scarf it down while tears stream down my cheeks like a pair of twin waterfalls that gush out both joy and despair. I can't stand that I am enjoying these. The greed and filth that comprises what is now General Mills flows through every eye-popping graphic smeared about the cardboard crunchberry corral, Cap'n Crunch looking more sinister than I ever have seen him; his cheesy grin almost screaming "Oh yeah, you'll buy it. You'll buy it because your Cap'n commands it!" and the only thing that makes that image hurt is that I did so willingly and thanked the Cap'n for his corn puff lashes across the roof of my mouth.

Is this what it's like to vote Democrat? I wouldn't know. Then again... Lately, voting GOP gets the equivalent of cook farting on your plate and handing you a steep bill. Same day different cuisine, I guess.

What was I talking about? Oh... right... crunchberries.

You know I remember a time where Cap'n Crunch was not only delicious, but important. So effing important that Spiderman himself swung in to rescue Cap'n from a promotion so devious that Spiderman needed my help to do... something or another with the box and get a Soggy toy or something out of the bottom of the box. I think there was a toy padlock involved? Connected to a maze and a horrifying mountain made of milk. Or milk curds. They never cleared that up. Like I said, I don't really recall or care to relive it, but it was important at the time.

So uh, in summation, OOPS! All Crunchberries! are available for a limited time only and if you act soon, you may be able to acquire this unique treat for only two American Earth dollars at your Neighborhood Wal-mart grocery retailer before tax. Join me in letting some of that pride slide and take a dip into flavor county (as opposed to "country") as you enjoy the delectable blend of ABSOLUTE BERRY HELL IN YOUR FACE!!!